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Joke of the Day

"One good thing about being ugly is that when someone stares at you for too long you automatically know they wanna rob you."

"The amount of time you spend cleaning your house before a friend comes over is inversely proportional to the quality of that friendship."

"It's as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before."

"MRW when FineBros start losing subscribers rapidly... *gets sued*"

"What is the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer? One is a bird watcher, and the other is a word botcher."

"I don't have a vagina, but I'm pretty sure sex feels a lot like cleaning your ear out with a Q-tip."

"What is a bigot? A bigot is anyone winning an argument with a liberal."

"[NSFW] How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? You suck its dick"

"*Brings a hammer to a thumb war.*"

"A man orders a pizza. The waiter asks him: ""Do you want your pizza cut in six or eight Pieces?"" The man replies: ""Six, i dont think i can eat eight"""