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Joke of the Day

"What stories are told by basketball players? Tall stories!"

"I was offered a job working as medieval escort. Unfortunately, I turned it down because I would have to work fucking knights."

"What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? A Pokemon."

"I love when girls say they need a man that can keep up with them... but immediately go into hysterics when I catch them."

"How does a jew get his beer? He brews"

"Just saw a magazine cover that said ""Katy Perry is on fire"" so I bought it and they meant it as a metaphor and this whole week is bullshit"

"The only way I'd be scared of a ghost is if one was coming at me wearing a fitted sheet that I thought I'd have to eventually fold."

"Have you heard about the one-armed super hero? He single handedly stops crime."

"wander ten miles over the German border, shoot everybody in sight and then claim you were never over the line"

"The first time I run out of windshield wiper fluid is the last time I have windshield wiper fluid."