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Joke of the Day

"Who else takes their phone out when you're in public by yourself, just so you don't look like some idiot with no friends."

"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet? A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once."

"[NSFW] Offensive as Fuck What's big and blue and has 300 nipples? The dumpster outside the breast cancer clinic."

"Every marriage counselor should be replaced by robots... because they take arguments and return values."

"What do fish call a submarine? Unidentified Floating Object"

"How does one sink, that which floats? How does one sync, that which floats? Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats."

"What do you call an Arab with only 1 ball. Iqubal"

"""I rapidly kidnapped a happily napping kid"" is not only a fun tongue twister, but also a Felony! ...or so my lawyer tells me."

"I do this really cute thing, where if I walk by a car that has a stick figure family on their back window, I peel a kid off."

"I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said NaBrO"