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Joke of the Day

"WHAT DO WE WANT AMERICA? ROCK HARD ABS!!! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? RIGHT AFTER WE FINISH THIS BOX OF DOUGHNUTS!!!"

"Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood..."

"IT'S THE COPS. COME OUT WITH UR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD. ""Bring out my bread? NO ABOVE UR HEAD ""Hello 911? Ducks are pretending to be cops"""

"I'd tell you the joke about the philosopher but I think only a Nietzsche audience would understand it."

"Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order? Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea."

"To the girl who wore a white dress to the wedding I went to this weekend, good for you for not needing people to like you"

"I beat a black belt at karate. My next challenger is a green sock."

"I had sex in French class once. She was on *la verge* of cumming."

"What's the difference between a mouth and an asshole?..... Some people can't figure out which one to speak out of."

"I refuse to go bungee jumping.... ... I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one."