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Joke of the Day

"another bar joke a neutron walks into a bar and asks ' how much for a drink ' the bartender replies ' for you, no charge'"

"Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say ""do you know who I am?"" because while I wait I like to be introspective"

"What do you call a panda who's legs don't work? Pandapalegic"

"Q: How did a blind man drive his car? A: One hand on the wheel; the other on the road."

"Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."

"Why did the male ghost get scared after the female ghost said ""boo""? The male ghost wasn't ready for a committed relationship."

"Judging from what most terrifies my cats, when the apocalypse comes it will be heralded by a great rustling of plastic grocery bags."

"As long as McDonald's doesn't make us pay with excercise."

"People ask me what's my favorite vegetable. Apparently Stephen Hawking is a bad answer."

"Made yah look."