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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to thank my student loans I don't think i can ever repay them for getting me through college"

"The lights in my house love me... ...because I always turn them on."

"Last Halloween I had to explain to everyone that I was not a ghost with a boner, but I was just a ghost and I happened to have a boner."

"What did the police officer say to the zoo keeper? Yeah I get it, I shoot monkeys on sight too."

"Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes. Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws."

"how do you start a rave in africa glue a piece of bread to the roof"

"What does a clock do when it gets hungry? It goes back four seconds."

"What do you call the underwear of someone experiencing nocturnal emissions? Dreamcatchers"

"What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? Goes-in-tight!"

"It's odd to hold a ""World Series"" and not invite other countries. But it's weirder to hold a ""Miss Universe"" and not invite other planets."