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Joke of the Day

"Why was a missile looking for a job? Because it got fired!"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his tea before it was cool."

"A high-dea supported by evidence... Is called a High-pot-thesis"

"What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickelback."

"The Monkey Do you know why the monkey fell out of the tree because he was fucking dead."

"Wife: You said you'll keep me as a queen but you make me dig the farm all day. WTF is this about? Husband: Darling you are my Queen of Spades."

"Donald Trump walks into a bar and lowers it"

"Troll: Horrible thing. Me: Horrible thing back. Troll: I was just giving my honest opinion. Me: Me too. Troll: But..."

"I hope no one I know ever has an emergency that they can't text me about. Because, answering my phone? No thanks."

"I've been happily married for four years out of a total of 10."