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Joke of the Day
"So I heard the royal baby was 8 pounds. That's awfully cheap for a human baby."
Next Joke
"WIFE: stop quoting Britney Spears songs or I'll leave you ME: but I'm a slave 4 u WIFE: that's it ME: (whispers) oops I did it again"
"I honestly respect reality show people for the sole fact they can do their interviews weeks later and speak as if it's presently happening"
"You call them ""cuss words""... I call them ""sentence enhancers""."
"""Dad do you believe in Buddha?"" ""Why of course but I think margarine is just as good."""
"I went to the 50 Shades of Grey midnight premier earlier tonight Just sucks I couldn't hear the movie over all those goddamn bees in the theater"
"What is a pedophiles favorite part of a hockey game??? Before the first period"
"Why don't we assassinate Kim Jong-Un? Because the North remembers."
"Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?"
"Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's? Because they fall through his hands."