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Joke of the Day

"I have had it up to HERE with visual metaphors in non-visual formats!"

"Five out of six people are okay with Russian Roulette... ... The sixth one loves it to death."

"A woman on the subway this morning said ""did you know the government is closed? Is it a holiday or something?"" So really, we deserve this."

"Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car? Because he was a car-case."

"What's the difference between carbon monoxide and spouses? Carbon monoxide is a silent killer."

"I just got booed off stage by a bunch of jerks that didn't appreciate my humor. That's the last time I'll do a eulogy."

"What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic? ANKH ANKH!!"

"The fastest way to get karma is... ...is to make someone think they are learning how to get karma"

"Dumb Joke David: Jim, you've got to be the dumbest son of a bitch I've ever met Jim: Really? I think that's a hyperbola"

"Did you hear about the man who had sex with a parrot? He got chirpes, and the bad news is...it's untweetable."