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Joke of the Day
"What a coincidence. My state of the unit address focuses on jobs as well."
Next Joke
"Whenever someone says they did something ""like a boss"" I assume that means they didn't do it at all and are taking credit for it."
"If breaking a mirror brings 7 years of bad luck, does breaking a lightbulb bring 7 years of bad ideas?"
"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but I don't know how they'd get in there."
"Some people need Rosetta Stone for Sarcasm"
"What did the snail say when his friend lost his car? Where did Es-car-go."
"""Stressed"" backwards is ""desserts"" so chill and have that cupcake."
"So my brother is dating a mermaid. Yeah, apparently their relationship's on the rocks."
"What does an Alzheimer's patient say whenever they browse /r/funny? ""Hey, this looks new!"""
"A Priest, an alcoholic and a Paedophile, walk in to a bar. He buys a drink."