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Joke of the Day
"I'm at an age where ""getting lucky"" only means I have the house to myself..."
Next Joke
"Why was the Baker a part-time drug dealer? Because he really kneaded the dough. (please forgive me for that awful pun)"
"What did one ocean say to the other? ""Check out this awesome plane I got! I hear Malaysian is a pretty rare brand."" ""Nah man, they aren't; I got one too."""
"Why did the Seahawks win the 2015 NFC Championship game against the Packers? Because even Aaron Rodgers is a 12!"
"Nicholas Cage is the same character in every movie he makes, except Face off where he was John Travolta."
"So they told me I couldn't live in the gym but I told them... Squatters' rights."
"You know you're ugly when you call yourself ugly and no one disagrees with you."
"When someone tells you that the integers are a more useful set of numbers than the natural numbers, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life."
"You're the Pepsi of people. Some people like you, but they're wrong."
"The year is 2035. The only movies are superhero reboots. Anyone caught looking up from their phone is fined $100."