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Joke of the Day
"LOUD PART, quiet part, LOUD PART, quiet part. There, I wrote a symphony. What's the big deal?"
Next Joke
"So I just flew in from Cleveland And boy are my arms tired."
"How can you tell an introverted Techie from an extroverted Techie? An extroverted Techie looks at *your* shoes when he's talking to you."
"""Mom, I'm an adult. There's nothing left for you to show me."" (*folds a fitted sheet*) ""TEACH ME YOUR SORCERY, LINEN WIZARD"""
"My friend Matt really likes bullfighting. Specifically, Mattadores bullfighting"
"There are four Mexicans, one Chinese person, and three black people standing on your lawn. What do you have? A sprinkler system. Spic, spic, spic, spic, chink! Nigga, nigga, nigga."
"Wait, 12 years a slave isn't about marriage?"
"TIFU by ordering the wrong sandwich for my wife. Oops, wrong sub. Edit: Turns out this has been posted before :("
"Want to hear the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth? (Bar Joke) Einstein's dick"
"Each week our panel of 3 celebrity chefs compete to create the ultimate final meal for a death row inmate on LAST SUPPER, this fall on FOX"