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Joke of the Day
"I just saw an onion ring. So I answered it."
Next Joke
"In some people's eyes, throwing acid is wrong"
"What do you call a cheap circumcision? ...a rip off."
"I bought shampoo for ""badly behaved"" hair. So relieved my hair will finally stop robbing banks and terrorising old ladies."
"They say that nothing can be erased from the Internet... Except for Hillary's emails."
"Tonight at the Who concert As the band started up ""You Better You Bet"", the guy next to me stood up to go get a drink. So I asked him - ""Not a fan of their new album?"""
"Why are birds always short on cash? Because they have bills."
"I like my women like I like my plastic wrap. Clingy, easy to handle, and microwave and freezer tested."
"Today I learned two things: 1. Build-A-Bear Workshop only lets you stuff fake animals 2. Mall security guards get to use real handcuffs"
"So...Donald Trump was on The View today. I kept rewinding it and watching it trying to spot Elizabeth Hasselbeck's boner."