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Joke of the Day
"[kicks in your door to apologize to you]"
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"I want to hold you till the end of time, or until I have to pee."
"What does Korean food taste like? Chinese food."
"How do you make Canadians? Fucking eh's. I'll see myself out."
"[inventing dialup internet] What should it sound like when it's connecting? [guy in the back stands up confidently] Pterodactyls"
"Biggest Jewish Dilemma? Free Bacon!!"
"What's the difference between unlawful and illegal? Unlawful is against the law and illegal is a sick bird."
"What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the party? ""Namaste"""
"What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? ""Thanks, I'll never part with it."""
"Look iPhone, if I wanted to be constantly be corrected today, I would have stayed home with my wife"