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Joke of the Day

"Monster energy drink bumper stickers--because you can't give your truck an eyebrow piercing."

"If you're having girl probs, I don't feel bad for you, son/ I've got ninety-nine traits but empathy ain't one"

"Phone rang for the 1st time in 4 months. My reaction was similar to finding a dead mouse on my porch. I circled it & poked it with a stick."

"Life without women... would be a pain in the ass."

"Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas? They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe."

"I want to see an episode of Intervention where the person is addicted to Nutella."

"My dad annoyed my mom calling her ""Mother of 7"" until the day she called him ""Father of 4""."

"Our conscience is clear- we don't use it."

"A baptist priest with a huge boner walks into a bar The bartender says ""what can i get you?"" ""anything 12 years old that goes down nicely"", says the priest."

"When does a joke become a Dad Joke? When it leaves you and doesn't come back."