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Joke of the Day

"A baptist priest with a huge boner walks into a bar The bartender says ""what can i get you?"" ""anything 12 years old that goes down nicely"", says the priest."

"Seems like everybody is wishing to find that special someone in their life, and I'm just over here wishing I could eat without getting fat"

"Sexist Joke alert why do they say Lady's first? because its the best for last"

"My phone died... There won't be any service."

"1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait"

"Why did the console peasants walk across the road? To render the building on the other side."

"A judge in Oklahoma City wed a couple and then sentenced the groom to prison. That sounds redundant to me."

"I bought a metronome recently, I left it in my car as I stopped at the bank machine for a minute, came back and it was gone, someone stole it but was caught... ...now I hear the thief is doing 2/4"

"What does a musician train do when running from the law? Covers tracks"

"I ""accidentally"" washed my cellphone once, and my wife has never let me do laundry again.... Yeah Accident"