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Joke of the Day

"Congratulations to the new Miss America! Now please answer your phone, I need tech support."

"But were you called ""dream wife"" on the internet today? Oh, you were. By the same guy? I see."

"How do you organise a space party? You planet."

"What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? One has strings, the other has straaangs."

"Marriage is like a seesaw. It's not fun if one of them is fat."

"What's the difference between a condom and a coffin? Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going."

"The Flat Earth Society No further comments needed."

"When my boyfriend gives me a hug during an argument, it looks loving, but I'm just patting him down to make sure he's not wearing a wire."

"Went to see the doctor last week, he gave me 4 months to live,. So I shot him. Today the judge gave me 20 years, problem solved."

"I accidently put my USB through the washing machine It's still works, but it's really clean now. All the porn is gone."