41177

Joke of the Day

"My stapler is pretty terrible at holding these pages together... ...thank goodness for staples, huh!?"

"What did they say when Jett passed out drunk at a party? Jett crashed."

"What's ET's first name? Spag."

"The only person who's never seen what a chef in a pizzeria looks like is the artist who draws the cartoon chefs on pizza boxes."

"As a fan of Dirty Dancing I can only hope that when we go on holiday one of my daughters sleeps with a middle aged dance instructor."

"What's the difference between a penis and a criminal? Well a penis gets hard, but a criminal does HARD time!"

"Two astronauts in the ISS... One says to the other, ""What's up?"" The other replies, ""Yeah, what?"" I'm pretty sure this is OC, I haven't see it else where."

"Please don't take my 'mmm hm's' as encouragement to go on with your story."

"I don't care if you're a dog person or a cat person, I generally don't date anyone with a tail."

"What's the difference between a priest and a dog? One wears pants and a collar, the other wears a collar and pants"