140555

Joke of the Day

"As a fan of Dirty Dancing I can only hope that when we go on holiday one of my daughters sleeps with a middle aged dance instructor."

"A man asked me if I could figure out how to operate a camera... I told him I'd look into it and give it my best shot."

"Please do not throw cigarette butts into the urinals, as it makes them soggy and very hard to light -Bathroom graffiti"

"I've been thinking about getting a tattoo and I've finally decided on this one. I don't know what it means, but it looks really cool! "

"What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese"

"What do you call a cold North African? A Brrbrr"

"Step 1 Change your Wi-Fi password to ""blowmefirst."" Step 2 Wait for someone to ask you for it."

"Why do people think Henry the Sixth was a Norseman? Because he was a VI KING."

"I came home from work early today and caught my daughter masturbating with a cucumber ""That's disgusting"" I said, ""I'm meant to be eating that tonight, now it's going to taste like salad."""

"Why does Bill Clinton chew gum all the time? He has an oral fixation."