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Joke of the Day
"Lifes a bitch Grab it by the pussy"
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"*pretty girl walks by and doesn't make eye contact* She must be intimidated that I manage a fantasy football team that is 8-1"
"[OC] What type of music do Irish people listen to? Pubstep"
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEP3Jut-crE"
"What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees? All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite..."
"What's the most common question in a Gay Bar? Can i push in your stool?"
"Brad Pitt might be ""better looking"" than me, but I am considerably fatter."
"*armadillo comes rolling back in the ball return* ""Wait.. if you're here, then..."" *cut to wife sobbing at bowling ball* ""UNCURL, FREDRICK!"""
"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on euthanasia. The librarian says, ""I'll do my best to assist you""."
"My neighbor traded in his KIA yesterday. Sold his Soul for a Mustang."