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Joke of the Day

"For girls who are trying to tan... I'll teach you how to sin ;)"

"Obligatory Light Bulb Do you know how many librarians it takes to screw in a light bulb? No, but I know where you can look it up!"

"Today on my first day of school someone told me that I must be so excited to be a senior I said ""Right back at you Grandma"""

"r/nowifi There seems to be nothing here"

"Strip clubs should make the strippers wear garlic scented perfumes so when I come home I can tell my gf I was at an Italian restaurant."

"You know that tingly little feeling you get when you fall for someone? That's common sense leaving your body."

"a powerful ancient bully emerged from a lake and told some girls i didnt know how to jack off til i was 16 & used a really unorthodox style"

"How to win the war on drugs... .1) Legalize all drugs. .2) Require that all drugs must be purchased through Comcast customer service."

"DOCTOR: ""Ok, now PUSH!"" WOMAN IN LABOUR: ""Should I be doing this in my state?"" DR: [leaning out of car window] ""Less talky, more pushy."""

"I listen to gangsta rap sprinkled with a little Sarah McLachlan. Will I murder you? Will I adopt a puppy with you? You don't know."