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Joke of the Day

"Today on my first day of school someone told me that I must be so excited to be a senior I said ""Right back at you Grandma"""

"TIL that 3.14% of sailors are pi-rates."

"Ladies, the next time a guy has the courage to talk to you, remember he's not wearing makeup. Also, remember what you look like without it."

"Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?"

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *choking sound"

"What did Ted Cruz's wife get after being elbowed by him? A Ted Bruz"

"It's never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she's on a whole other level."

"What do you get when you hold two green balls tightly in your hand? A leprachaun's undivided attention."

"What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted people"

"A man once said, that i was gay... ...i took his dick out of my mouth and said ""i'll add an extra 5 bucks to the bill for that"""