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Joke of the Day

"For those who can't eat their vegetables bc of the wheelchair: There IS a chocolate shake with every one, all you have to do is pull out the straw. Edit: a word"

"One day I will write my autobiography and it will just say ""fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."" The rest of the pages will be drawings of dicks."

"What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater ? 'Claws.'"

"A funny bird is the pelican His beak can hold more than his belly can He can hold in his beak Enough for a week And I don't know how the heck he can!"

"I only believe 2 things 1. Respect a woman that says no 2. Never take no for an answer"

"Me: You never told me you were on the debate team in college.. Her: Yes I did. Me: No you didn't. Her: Yes I did. Me: Oh you're good!"

"What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out!"

"When does a cat need milk? Right meow... I know, the joke sucked. I'm going back in my corner now"

"My most recent What's the name of the richest man in China? Cha Ching"

"*Looking in the mirror* Fix hair. Check teeth. Fix hair. Check butt. Fix hair. Side check. Suck in. Side check. Fix hair. *Sighs* walks..."