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Joke of the Day

"I love wearing ear-buds and listening to the music loud at the gym, because no one can hear you if you fart...Why is everyone looking at me?"

"Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship."

"My Asian girlfriend told me there's nothing wrong with having a little penis. I still wish she didn't have one, though..."

"Does this cubicle make me look dead inside?"

"Your girlfriend isn't hallucinating man, she's actually seeing other people."

"Teenage twin boys in a ""special needs"" class were suspended for online gambling while at school... Turns out they have DoubleDown syndrome."

"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he killed Hitler."

"Me: *explains idea* Boss: That's the dumbest idea ever Me:*clears throat* *repeats exact same idea in a British accent* Boss: Brilliant!"

"[Married pillow-talk] Husband: What's your deepest fantasy? Me: That when our kids eat dinner they don't leave any crumbs under the table."

"I once dated this German golfer chick. She was a pretty cool girl but she wouldn't ever do anal. She lovingly referred to her butthole as her back nein."