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Joke of the Day

"Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship."

"A Pirate Walks into a Bar A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says, ""Are you aware that there is a steering wheel in your pants?"" ""ARRR IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS."""

"Not to brag but both my kids are from the same dad"

"We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names there. Yesterday, for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was ""Michael""."

"So I was fucking this guy in the ass..... ... and I reached around and he had a boner. Do you think he's gay?"

"How did the Mongols get to Europe? Steppe by steppe."

"I have twin brothers named Juan and Amal. I only carry a picture of one of them because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

"Why did the Walrus go to the tupperware party? He was looking for a tight seal."

"Whenever my girlfriend doesn't eat her dinner, I remind her that there are starving kids in Africa, and that she'll never be that skinny."

"I'll never know if those cookies will give me super powers or not unless I eat some."