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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Marty McFly drink wine? Too many Tannens."

"How do you make a horse fast? You take away his food."

"What is the difference between Harry potter and jews? Harry potter made it out if the chamber"

"Who is a Racist and a Homophobe and a Bigot and a Hater and a Sexist pig? *Anyone* winning an argument with a liberal."

"This one time I swallowed a gum and my mom told me that ""it stays in your system forever,"" so I swallowed a table to stick it under it."

"Where did the general keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them."

"I had a rib removed so I could cry further into my lap"

"Me when my friends are sad: 268 text messages of advice and tell them how perfect they are. Then when I'm sad: Oh, sorry ."

"A girl tells her Irish mom she wants to be a prostitute. 'A WHAT?' The mother shouts. 'A prostitute' replies the girl. 'OH thank god!! I thought you wanted to become Protestant!"