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Joke of the Day
"Did you know that Dracula wants to become a comedian? He's looking for a crypt writer."
Next Joke
"Are they REALLY going to let GAYS play sports?!? What's next? EQUALITY? WOMEN VOTERS? WILL THIS EVER END? #romney2012"
"ELI5: What are thoooooooose?!?"
"I dare you to read the New Testament, except substitute every ""Jesus"" with ""Pizza Hut"" and tell me it isn't the greatest business plan ever."
"I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that's over with."
"Seriously considering telling the CDC I have Ebola, so they'll clean my house."
"My wife asked me to stop singing wonderwall. I said maybe."
"My girlfriend dreamt that I slept with her friend... So I tried to reassure her. I said, ""Baby. Please. That's crazy - I have never slept with your friend. Trust me, you've never even met the girl""."
"What letter never satisfies it's wife? The quick E"
"I saw a sign that said ""watch for kids""... Sounds like a fair trade."