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Joke of the Day

"I asked my friend what keeps her up at night. She answered, ""helium."" Also, my friend is a balloon."

"When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!! ha ha ha"

"[NSFW] What do you do when your penis starts acting up? Beat the fuck out of it!"

"FIFA just got caught taking bribes for the 2010 World Cup. What a kick in the balls."

"What would gold say if it could talk? ""A-U"" :|"

"Scientists have found the number one cause of pedophilia. Sexy children."

"I like my girls the same way I like my coffee. Without milk."

"New 10 dollar bill did you hear about the new 10 dollar bill with a women on it ? ... it's only worth $7.70"

"If you find yourself in a hole. Stop digging."

"If you drill a hole through the planet and drop a stone into it, how far does it fall Three feet and then the green rock eater eats it"