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Joke of the Day
"I eat a lot of grapes. I'm basically a wino with no patience."
Next Joke
"to cause mass hysteria at a wedding, slowley turn the volum down when the ""shout"" song says ""a litle bit louder now, a litle bit louder now"""
"Found out a guy I dated was in jail for attempted murder. He never even tried to take me camping, I'm not even good enough to kill."
"What do you call alien life on Europa? European. Credit to Neil Degrasse Tyson on the Late Show"
"met the cutest girl today. her eyes were gentle, like the light from a phone screen and her smile glowed, like the light from a phone screen"
"Being in middle management is like being a toilet seat... Look up and you see a bunch of arseholes, look down and all you see are shits."
"What do the Mafia and vaginas have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit"
"What do you call a 5' 2"" fortune teller that has escaped from prison? A small medium at large"
"If God is all seeing Does that mean he can see John Cena?"
"Sex makes your day, but anal makes you hole weak.."