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Joke of the Day

"What is 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period."

"Why did the mobster buy a planner? So he could organize his crime"

"I gave my baby a teething toy so she would stop chewing on my fingers. She wasn't interested because it didn't scream out in pain."

"Hello all, I have the ground type safari...Someone please add me, I'm looking for the older generation."

"You know when you read a page of a book and then realize you didn't absorb any of it? I think I did that with my life."

"Before you criticize someone.. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

"So I bought a Galaxy Note 7 today.. This phone is the bomb"

"I used to be a narcissist But now look at me"

"My new computer is so fast that I told them to deliver it next Monday and it's here already."

"Where do you keep microscopic criminals? In cells."