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Joke of the Day

"A woman is on trial for murdering her husband. ""So ma'am, first offender?"" ""No! First a Gibson, THEN a Fender."""

"Have you guys seen the Petrified Forrest? Those trees are scared!"

"Me and UFOS have something in common! Neither of us look good on camera."

"Level of drunkenness: fed the ATM pizza."

"A general tweet to those who attack me but I miss because they're blocked: I'm totally gutted. Well done. You're fierce! You got me GOOD."

"Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? A woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies"

"So much mascara her eyes got stuck in the closed position. Too bad lipstick doesn't work that way."

"A woman goes on a fishing trip with 20 guys. The only thing she came home with was a Red Snapper"

"Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you're CU TE"

"Like it or not... That's how Facebook works."