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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Joke 'What's the diagnosis doctor?' 'What is your zodiac sign?' 'Cancer.' 'What a coincidence!'"

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"Warning to friends: If you piss me off I'll put a for sale sign in my yard and list your phone number to call for inquiries."
"[fixing your car stereo] Ah here's the problem [ejects Pitbull CD]"
"After interviewing a candidate for an open position, I got an email stating, "" It was a pressure meeting you"""
"This article says 80% of men feel confident being naked in front of a woman. Twitter says the rest prefer being naked in front of a donut."
"""Will, you, Mary, Me"" -- invitation to an orgy."
"[first day as a mechanic] ME: i would say this car is haunted"
"What do you call butt sex in public? PDAnal"
"A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument."
"Did you hear the joke about the alarm? No? It doesn't ring a bell?"
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