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Joke of the Day

"Bad weather is My way of temporarily punishing you. Bad climate is your way of permanently punishing you."

"What do you call a running chicken? Poultry in motion."

"""You know the speed limit here, son?"" 45 ""You know how fast you were going?"" 88 ""So where you off to in such a hurry?"" 1985"

"When life gives you lemons Chances are you are high on LSD"

"I identify as counter strike, and I find this globally offensive."

"Shakira molests air and calls it dancing."

"Shoe store employee on phone w/ wife: ""Yea honey I should be home just in time for dinner"" *centipede walks in* ""You've got to be kiddin me"""

"What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver? The home golfer goes WHACK! ""Oh no!"" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa"

"Got into a fight with an Egyptian. We were fez to fez."

"So my japanese girlfriend dumped me the other day.. .. Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea."