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Joke of the Day

"I'm super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape."

"I like to nickname my penis Buzz Lightyear Because he likes to travel to the star and beyond"

"Twitter should have "" Throwing tomato"" button."

"Who the hell decided ""have a happy period"" was an okay thing to write on maxi pads? ""NOT WORTH THE JAIL TIME"" would have been more relevant."

"Why did the superhero make a lot of shredded cheese? It was for the grater good."

"deeply analyzing what you meant when you texted ""k"""

"What do gay horses eat? HAY HAY HAY!"

"[date] ""don't let her know ur from twitter"" Her: whats wrong? Me: This fork only has 3 prongs Her: So? Me: it should be called a threek"

"I got caught peeing in the pool the other day The lifeguard yelled at me so loud that I almost fell in."

"An illegal immigrant and a pedophile got into a fight... It was the real life version of Alien vs Predator"