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Joke of the Day

"deeply analyzing what you meant when you texted ""k"""

"I don't know, Your Honor. Last thing I remember was the Polaroid picture crying and I was shaking it like a baby andIT WOULDN'T STOP CRYING!"

"Oh, you used ""whom"" in casual conversation. Well, I didn't realize I was in the presence of William Fucking Shakespeare."

"Why could the chef not cook a tree branch? Because he used a non-stick pan."

"What's the most Ghetto cheese? E-Dayyyyyyyyyymn (Edam)"

"I always wanted to be a plumber when I grew up but in the end it was just a pipe dream."

"A threesome? No...if I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time I would go to dinner with my parents"

"My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again."

"A man is stranded on a dessert island and it was delicious."

"Three men walk into a bar The fourth one asks ""You guys ok? Didn't you see that low hanging bar?"""