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Joke of the Day

"No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president."

"Did you hear about the joke about the 3 wells? Well Well Well"

"Hard tacos are just soft tacos from the street."

"""Friends are a dime a dozen."" *pulls out a sack full of dimes* ""Sweet, I'll take 32 dozen friends please."""

"When a cop pulls you over, never start a sentence with, ""This may be the alcohol talking, but..."" Trust me on this one."

"Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix? He liked chillin."

"I recently bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer... I dunno what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!"

"Why doesn't jesus play hockey? He's scared of getting nailed into the boards"

"What's a prisoner's favorite punctuation mark? A period because it marks the end of his sentence."

"The quickest way to immigrate to America... Is on a one way ticket to Mexico."