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Joke of the Day

"What starts with ""p,"" ends with ""s,"" and is really long? Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis"

"What is a Lumber-Jack from Massachusetts' favorite drink? A Boston Logger."

"wife: ""he never reacts appropriately, just tell him"" doctor: ""ok, keith we had to remove both your legs"" me: ""where will i keep my car keys"""

"What did the baby cigarette want to be when it grew up? a Drag Queen"

"friend: i want a bf me: i want to hold the reins of 2 equally powerful, beautiful horses who run w/perfectly matched paces & also respect me"

"Hey girl, are you bacteria? Because I know I need you but I have no idea why."

"Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh..."

"My wife treats me like a God...She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something."

"People get easily offended these days. You can't even say black paint Instead you have to yell ""Jamall, paint my fence"""

"I bet the first person that heard a parrot talk really lost their shit."