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Joke of the Day

"I can tell my Girlfriends ass is getting bigger, She fits in my Wife's jeans."

"Everyone says fat people don't like puns. But I think that's just a huge stereotype."

"A golfer bought a six pack of beer but he had to take it back... because there was a hole-in-one"

"How did the massage therapist lose all of his customers? He rubbed them all the wrong way"

"[puts puppy in microwave] [googles instructions for making hotdogs] [quickly releases puppy from microwave]"

"Fun Fact: When your favorite football team wins, you don't win. You're just drunk on a couch screaming at a TV."

"I stole a futon from a shop. I think the police are after me, so I have beenlying low."

"When I see lovers' names carved in a tree..... I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date."

"[medusa's husband sighing and pulling a wad of snakes out of the shower drain]"

"I don't understand women... I thought opening the door was the right thing to do, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane..."