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Joke of the Day

"Apparently the Royal Family is running out of money. They're down to just 26.5 million ...Which is what happens when nobody in your family has had a job for the last thousand years."

"What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore"

"A friend and I saw a man killed at the canned goods factory... It was a jarring experience."

"How do you karma whore on r/Jokes?"

"Studies show there is actually intelligent DNA in women. But unfortunately most of them spit it out."

"Who fancies going to Tunisia? I heard they're giving free shots on the beach. They go straight to your head, too."

"Someday, my kids will say ""daddy, wanna hear a cool story"" and it will actually be followed by the telling of a cool story."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my cock down your mom's throat."

"You're so vain, you probably think me driving by your house 27 times at 2 a.m. wearing all black with binoculars is about you, don't you."

"Him: Sometimes you can be a little... loud. Me: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM A DELICATE FLOWER"