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Joke of the Day

"Who's your Daddy? In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend ""How's your daddy?"" instead of ""Who's your daddy?"" and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes..."

"Why are red heads never calm? Because it's so easy to make a ginger snap."

"(Disney Dating Tips) 1.Kidnap Dad 2.Coerce Daughter 3.Awkward music-filled dates 4.Angry mob danger 5.Stockholm Syndrome -Beauty & the Beast"

"My son is explaining why my daughter is crying but I'm not buying it as I don't think she can even say, ""Please kick me in the face""."

"A joke this subreddit will love What's worse than a whale with a sore tooth? When you go to kiss your grandma goodbye and she slips you the tongue."

"Did you know that all of the Hobbit films were recorded in L.A. Yeah, you could tell by the Smaug."

"A white lie: ""No dear, your bum doesn't look big in those jeans""."

"Listen, you should really give your mother a call. She's concerned that ""the haters"" in her Zumba class are organizing and gaining power."

"If you accidentally get stuck holding the door for a bunch of people. 1. Relax 2. Accept your fate 3. You are part of the building now"

"Pour motor oil over a stack of CDs. Ta-da! Robot pancakes."