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Joke of the Day

"Q: How is Clinton's health care reform a lot like his haircut? A: It is a lot more expensive than it looks."

"Who was the knight that invented the round table? Sir Cumference. (via friend who got this from a street performance group in the England area of Epcot)"

"""And to my son Ronald, I leave my entire collection of mint-condition, never-been-opened LinkedIn Updates emails."""

"1)Buy a plastic phone 2)Walk next to a stranger 3)Whisper into phone ""It's done. He's dead."" 4)Remove batteries & throw phone in a trash can"

"What I say: I'm on a diet. What my mom hears: please cook delicious food and buy chocolate."

"What's the German super hero called? Ale-Man"

"Let me drink about it and get back to you."

"What's the difference between eating pussy and driving in fog? When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you."

"Can't believe it's 2012 and still possible for me to cut myself shaving."

"Someone with a knife exactly like the one I'm holding in my hand ruined my neighbor's inflatable Christmas lawn decorations."