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Joke of the Day

"If you have a tattoo on your head, you've lost the right to ask me what I'm looking at."

"Bernie Sanders is finally deciding to cut the BS He will now go by: Ernie Anders."

"*doctor looks up* I'm afraid you have forgetting about 80's bands disease ""Oh god what's The Cure?"" *doctor sighs* It's worse than I thought"

"Most long freeway drives are spent thinking, ""Who the hell would live here?"""

"My wife is like a treasure You'll need an accurate map and a fucking shovel to find her."

"I'm not a Christian... But as a gay man I wouldn't object to being nailed bloody up against some hard wood."

"Idea: An animated sitcom where the characters age and change clothes."

"Friend: ""Hey, want me to get out my didgeridoo so I can play for you?"" I'd rather you didgerididn't."

"Oral Sex: A taste of things to come"

"My wife felt guilty I found her using a vibrator. She said she was denying me my pleasure. She's using the batteries from the remote"