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Joke of the Day
"What did the Asian guy say about all the recent celebrity deaths? They're dropping like Freys!"
Next Joke
"Remembering idioms is easy It's not rocket fuel"
"I was on a date with a girl at the cinema. We both put our hands into the popcorn at the same time, so to make it less awkward, I said, ""Don't worry, that's not the one I masturbate with."""
"Nine months from now we'll have an adorable, pooping reminder of The Night the Internet Wasn't Working."
"What's the only day Asian people can have sex?? Election day"
"How do you keep a fool in suspense... I'll tell you tomorrow."
"*walks up to a group of sad people at a funeral* Do y'all know the wifi password"
"""It says here you're very sarcastic?"" Actually it says sadistic ""why would you put that on a resume?"" I was being sarcastic"
"Weight discrimination and fat-shaming are a real problem in our society. Do you know what the worst source of fat-shaming is? A mirror."
"ALBUS: It's a Time-Turner! We can travel back in time and change ANYTHING. SNAPE: That's amazing. We can save- ALBUS: Nah, gave it to a kid."