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Joke of the Day
"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbult? To get to the other side."
Next Joke
"It's so insulting when people think they need to explain simple things to me. I mean like, don't consume I'm dumb n shit, you know?"
"What did the octopus say to the fox? ""What the fuck are you doing in the ocean?"""
"Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks."
"Her + Gravity = 2001: A Space Odyssey"
"I want to get a medical bracelet that says, ""Shy"" so I can I just hold it up during social situations."
"6yo: I can't wait to be an adult! Me: Adults don't get snow days. 6yo *faints*"
"I encourage my kids to explore art. I insist they know Picasso's Blue Period had nothing to do with the menstrual cycle of a Smurf."
"Just saw a five year old in a track suit & a gold chain. His nana didn't think it was funny when I asked him if he could hook up some blow."
"What the difference between the titanic and climate change? Climate change beat the ice berg"