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Joke of the Day

"I want to get a medical bracelet that says, ""Shy"" so I can I just hold it up during social situations."

"Why does the French flag have Velcro? So the blue and red sections are easily removed during a time of war."

"Why did the marine park worker feel aimless? Because they lacked porpoises."

"An Indian man on his death bed. ""Sanjita, my wife, are you here?"" ""Yes, my husband.""""My son and daughter, are you here?"" ""Yes, Papa.""""Then who's in the fucking shop?"""

"It's hard to tell jokes to shoreline oceanographers They always take things littorally."

"Whores on first, sluts on second, idle hos on third."

"Why did Princess Diana Cross the Road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt!"

"""Damn girl! I think you're giving me mesothelioma cuz yo ass bestest!"""

"I'm always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank"

"The TSA agent who runs the x-ray machine just told me ""Nice penis."" Thank you, Al Qaeda!"