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Joke of the Day

"probably the funniest noises you could hear during a funeral would be an actual donkey bray (eeyore noise), or the sound of dial-up internet"

"*watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *has to pee* *watches soccer* *gets up to pee* *misses goal* :/"

"What's the temperature in Motown right now? Three degrees, four tops"

"Self-deprecating humor is kind of my thing, or at least that's what I tell myself."

"Note to self: I am a note"

"We'd like to sincerely apologize for booking the Karate Convention on the same day as the Rare Wooden Boards Fair"

"An Irishman walked out of a bar. What? It could've happened!"

"The funny thing about boobs is, if you've seen two... ...you want to see them all."

"Girls only date me to further their careers... Damn archeologists and paleontologists!"

"The 5 signs of laziness 1."