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Joke of the Day

"Recently reconciled with my brother after a long conflict. I apologised for slashing his tires, and he regretted breaking some of my home appliances. But hey, it's all water under the fridge now."

"A woman got wooden breast implants yesterday. It would be funny if this joke had a punch line wooden tit."

"""Uh-oh!"" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog"

"Went to the doctors yesterday and was told I have to stop masturbating, Apparently it was upsetting the other people in the waiting room"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Without a penis"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey"

"What do you call a stealthy gay guy? A fruit Ninja"

"My girlfriend told me to stop singing wonderwall. I said maybe..."

"My wife says I have a short attention spanish is a beautiful language isn't it?"

"Taking a picture of your meal before you eat is the new ""saying grace."""