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Joke of the Day

"Who translated ""The Flat-Chested Woman"" from the original Russian? Vasily Bithertitoff"

"What emotion does a tree feel every spring? Relief"

"What do you call a blind person who can't find his/her glasses? Eyeronic."

"Give someone fire and they'll be warm for a day. Throw someone into fire and they'll be warm for the reat of their life."

"Alarm clocks should come with sounds like ""doll feet running into the closet"" Because I AM NOT HITTING SNOOZE WHEN I HEAR THAT SHIT"

"The Energizer Bunny was arrested this morning. Have you heard about this? Yeah, police say he was charged with battery."

"What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing? That's not my stile."

"I had a call from a charity asking me to donate old clothes for starving people. I told them anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving"

"What's a Yankee? It's a quickie....but you do it yourself"

"Haven't worn a watch in 20+ years. Coincidentally, I haven't poured my drink on the floor when asked for the time in 20+ years."