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Joke of the Day

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles. I'm sorry, everyone."

"I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian ."

"Aaron Hernandez found guilty of first-degree murder He has been sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Not sure how much longer he's going to remain a ""tight end"""

"What's great about living in Japan? Well, the flag is spot on!"

"I don't want to hear about any moonlit romantic walks on the beach...unless there's a clown with a wooden club chasing you."

"How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich."

"""I enjoy working with a hammer, but I don't want a blue collar job."" - Everyone who eventually becomes a judge."

"I once threw a boomerang, not knowing what it was for... Then it hit me."

"My girlfriend told me she wanted to wake up to Oral I don't know what she expected but it sure as hell wasn't a dick in her mouth"

"Apple is advertising the new iPhone as ""The most powerful four inches ever."" I can't believe they stole my slogan."