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Joke of the Day

"I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian ."

"Q: What did the potato ask the cow? A: Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes."

"Mr. Trump, who's your Secretary of State? TRUMP: To deal with China, one that speaks Mandarin [remembers to appeal to women] or Womandarin"

"if a cop pulls u over play dead"

"My toddler eats with her right hand but is ambidextrous when it comes to total destruction."

"My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers To be honest, I should have seen the signs."

"The main thing I want this holiday season is for someone to wake me when it's over."

"Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold."

"Why are do gays always get to the airport early. They get their shit packed the night before."

"Hans Zimmer was inspired by one composer in particular when writing the Inception soundtrack... Brahms"